What makes you feel ‘truly’ good?

safak erkol
4 min readApr 4, 2022

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Reflecting on Question 6

Feeling good. The ultimate superfood. The alternative exercise. The long-lasting effect. The immersive experience. Feeling good is the holy grail of the world around us. No judgment from me on what you might have tried so far: I’ve probably done the same, and honestly, I might have stayed under the influence of the illusion longer.

I feel good when I let this intense color in — splashes of ‘vivid’ pink.

And all the paths are valid as long as you’re not violating anyone’s boundaries. We go out on the streets and browse on our screens, reaching out for that ‘goodness’ feeling. So much of what’s shared and discussed is on the people who are feeling good, what you can do to feel good for ‘longer’ and how you can help other people and the planet through doing the things that make you feel good. And obviously, the myth busters always have a claim for the next thing that will make you feel better.

Well, may be it’s time that we question the first assumption here. What if the truly good feeling is not sourced from outside, but inside?

What if this idea is worth a deeper personal exploration, by experiencing whether it is true or not? A few minutes of inquiry into your day at night reveals what no one can guide you into. If you’re open to hearing yourself rather than giving into distraction, when you no longer remain in the familiar noise, you get a hint of who you are. Priceless.

Searching for signals outside? Photo by Jorge Salvador on Unsplash

After such a night with a quiet mind, this post was inspired by a sunny spring day where I felt the lightness and light of sunshine in myself. And it was meant to be a way for me to journal on what makes my body and heart move. Things to do, faces, places and more. I started listing: sunsets with love and a bottle of wine, the next 50 pages of a book touching my soul, my mum singing random songs to me on the phoneand closing your eyes and listening to the sea.

As the list went on, I started to include things that are not necessarily ‘pleasant’ but made me feel alive and human. Remembering laughters with a long lost friend, an evening time where I sat down watching people in park with the feeling of release after tense months and this moment — listening to music and putting ‘myself’ out there in my words.

Standing in the midst of darkness and breathing — more impressive than you’d guess. Photo by Touann Gatouillat Vergos on Unsplash

When you actually start a curious search, this list continues to morph into ‘true and beautiful’ moments. Not the most cheerful, not the most glamorous or full of pleasure one. On the contrary, these moments are an expression of our true selves, whatever the circumstances are. Bursting into laughters at a silly joke after a tense family gathering during tough times — these are the moments where you are glad to be alive, without demanding that life serves your desires. During the afterglow of a celebration, the stillness that triggers mixed feelings — these are the moments where you know that your life is changing and you’ve had to let go of things and people. This was the only way to be YoU.

And this is exactly why no one else can give us the recipe for our true and beautiful moments, even if we desperately wanted to get away with a convenient solution.

“The truest, most beautiful life never promises to be an easy one. We need to let go of the lie that it’s supposed to be.” Glennon Doyle, Untamed

As I close this story today, I feel that I need to repeat the raison d’etre of my writing. I believe in the immense power of hearing stories that resonate with us and how these stories encourage and change us. This is what Glennon did for me with Untamed : I reinforced my belief that I’m the one to decide on the true and beautiful life.

“You are here to decide if your life, relationships and world are true and beautiful enough for you. And if they are not and you dare to admit they are not, you must decide if you have the guts, the right — perhaps even the duty — to burn to the ground that which is not true and beautiful enough and get started building what is.” Glennon Doyle, Untamed

I know I’ll continue to write with this intention in mind.

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